I've been hiding something...

I couldn't feel worse right now if I tried. There is no way I can hide the feelings I've been having the last few months, any longer.

I feel like the worst wife and even worse mother. I've been told as much by the very people that I am both to. Tonight, after having another pointless fight with my spouse, twice, and then having my daughter tell me what a worthless mother I am, and what a lazy person I am, I have finally had enough.

I don't know what else to do anymore. Everything I do seems pointless and meaningless anymore. I took my sleeping pills so I can sleep and not have to think about anything anymore. What else can I do?

I too tired to fight everyone anymore.

And on it goes...

Well, it's been a couple of days since I last wrote here. We have had a sad week this week and it's not over yet.

Our daughter had a horrible miscarriage on Tuesday morning. I've been through a few of them myself, but nothing like this. And it's totally different when you are watching your child go through it.

The doctor said that she had been carrying twins, based on the size of her uterus, and the size of the mass that I collected. I figured as much when I saw it. Now, 2 days later, we are headed to the hospital once again, this time for a D&C. She is running a fever, and has started bleeding again, and having quite a bit of pain.

They should have done that the other day! I am glad however that they didn't do it, because the facility we were in was one of the dirtiest and worst organized hospitals I've ever been in. Oh my goodness....can't even discribe how bad it was. Let's just say I now understand why I've heard Tacoma referred to as the "ARMPIT" of the sound......

Well, I've got to run for now, I'll update this further later on tonight.